Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide

Sick joke making the rounds: If you’re surprised by Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide, imagine how surprised Epstein was.

Alternate sick joke making the rounds: I was stunned by the news of Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide, though probably not as much as Epstein himself.

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On the one hand, enough is publicly known about the sordid details of Epstein's hobby-group that *everyone* knows that powerful people wanted him dead. This will make some sort of conspiracy theory at least rational and credible.

On the other hand, if I were the sort of person who could be brought down by the full facts coming to light — and being that sort more than implies that murder is never off the table — I’d have had him whacked a long time ago. He became a liability when the "Lolita Express" first came to light.

NBC News: Prison experts are stunned and angry that Jeffrey Epstein was taken off suicide watch

Bob Hood, a former federal Bureau of Prisons chief of internal affairs and former warden at the ADX Florence “supermax” prison in Colorado, said he also was perplexed by the decision to remove the suicide safeguards.

“Under the circumstances, I would have a staff member sitting there or have a camera on him 24/7 while he was in my custody, purely to cover my butt,” said Hood. “I know that sounds tacky, but this is not your average inmate.”

Shoot! I'd have had multiple cameras watching Epstein, and cameras watching the cameras, and people physically watching Epstein, and cameras watching the people physically watching him, and people watching the cameras ... and cameras watching *them*.

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EDIT 2019/08/13:
New York Post: Jeffrey Epstein hanged himself with prison bedsheet: source

Jeffrey Epstein was found hanging in his lower Manhattan jail cell with a bedsheet wrapped around his neck and secured to the top of a bunk bed, The Post has learned.

The convicted pedophile, who was 6 feet tall, apparently killed himself by kneeling toward the floor and strangling himself with the makeshift noose, law enforcement sources said Monday. He hadn’t been checked on for several hours, sources said.

Now *that's* commitment -- not only to "hang" yourself when merely standing up will abort the hanging, but to "hang" yourself with a sheet that's essentially tissue paper.

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EDIT 2019/08/14:
OK, the bit about the sheet being essentially tissue paper was a tongue-in-cheek reference to his having been removed from "suicide watch" mere days after allegedly trying to kill himself a couple of weeks ago.

Look, it's impossible to commit suicide in the manner described unless you first ensure that you are unable to free yourself. When the carbon-dioxide level in your lungs passes a certain threshhold, your body automatically enters a panic mode which overrides any conscious decision to kill yourself by asphyxiation.

So, if he did indeed kill himself in the manner we are being told, then he managed to do it only because he couldn't free himself. And that means either:
1) that he had used the sheet to rig a complex system which:
- cut off his air-supply
- prevented him from moving in such a way as to relieve the pressure which was cutting off his air-supply
2) he was already unconscious when the asphyxiation itself began

And 2) takes us right back to a conspiracy